Mr. Geffers and the Pine Tree

On Sunday we were in the garden cleaning up the lilac bushes when Mr. Geffers came stumbling down the path. (I will choose to believe there was a branch on the path, although his stumbling may have been influenced by other factors… ;P ) He took us out for lunch to a Greek restaurant near the garden and kindly offered to pay – even though he didn’t quite have enough money in his wallet to do that. After explaining that his wife often takes money out of his wallet, he warned me to keep an eye on Veronika. No problem I replied, I like looking at Veronika anyways.

“When are you going to cut down the pine tree?” he asked.

I told him that next week some time we would probably get to it. But that wasn’t good enough. He wanted to come and help us cut it down – he could pull the branches over, he thought, so that they didn’t fall on the fence. (Keep in mind he’s 73 and still working on walking down the path straight.) Not wanting to hurt his feelings, we agreed to meet him Monday in the garden to cut down the pine tree.

On Monday I got to the garden a little early to see what we were up against. This was a big, gnarled pine - as ugly as the Conservatives and as crooked as the Liberals.



To me, the easiest way to take this sucker down was to climb up in the tree with a handsaw and start cutting down the smaller branches to make the tree lighter. Unforunately, I didn’t get very long along this path before Mr. Geffers showed up with his plan. After showing me how to put oil in the chainsaw (again), we stood under the tree, ready for battle.

“Ok, the method is simple,” he told me. All you have to do is climb up in the tree with the chainsaw and cut down a couple of those big branches.”

I told him I didn’t think it was the best idea to climb the tree with the chainsaw – and especially not to cut down the big branches while in the tree with the chainsaw. Instead I told him my plan of using the hand saw to cut down the small branches.

“No,” he said. “You best use the chainsaw or I might as well do that myself.”

Not wanting the death of an old man on my head, I quickly told him I would use the chainsaw, but convinced him it was probably a better idea to do that from ground level.

“Ok,” he said, “the method is simple. All you have to do is cut down that big branch above you, and when you hear it crack, then get out of the way.”
I wasn’t convinced that that was the best idea either, but figured my chances of surviving were better on the ground than in the tree, so I agreed.
The chainsaw was nice and sharp and ate its way through the pine quickly. About halfway through I started getting pretty nervous. The branch I was cutting was about a foot thick, weighed about 400 lbs, and was about a half a foot above my head. Not to mention there was also a running chainsaw to think about. At 2/3 of the way through I started getting ready to run and at 3/4 of the way through I heard the crack. In a flash I had my finger off the chainsaw trigger and was running the other way. Two steps later I passed Mr. Geffers who was also running away at about the same speed he was stumbling down the path earlier. Uh oh, I thought – and looked back to see the tree stop falling just as Mr. Geffers cleared the final branches. Whoof.

The giant branch had caught itself on two of the lower branches still attached to the stump. We stepped closer to investigate. We tried to push and pull the giant branch free, but it was stuck.

“Ok,” he said. “The method is simple. All you have to do is cut down the two big branches that it’s resting on.”

I took a closer look. The lower branch wasn’t actually bearing much weight, so after making sure Mr. Geffers was well clear this time, I cut off the lower branch. No problem.

I didn’t wait for Mr. Geffers to take another look, but went to the other side of the tree with a hatchet, and cut off as many of the little branches as I could, from the giant fallen limb that was still suspended in the air. This reduced the weight considerably. I then took a handsaw quick and cut it in half – and by the time he was back from his smoke break, the limb was pretty much on the ground.

Now there was only one large limb left hanging from the tree, but that one was pretty straightforward. Besides, I figured with how much we had survived so far, today must be a lucky day. Fortunately I was right and the rest went smoothly.



It’s incredible how much mass there actually is in a tree. Somehow, when the branches are on the ground they multiply considerably. At the moment our garden looks more like a woodlot than a garden, but we’re working on that. Our plan is to sell the branches to the crazy city people at the upcoming Flohmarkt (basically a free-for-all market in the parking lot of the German equivalent of Walmart). I really must write later on the difference in thinking between city people and country people – incredible.

Alex
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I heard through the grapevine that people want me to update my blog more often… As a good friend once told me: “Ok, the method is simple, all you have to do is …” leave more comments on my blog!!! I am way more motivated to write when I know that someone is reading, so if you’ve left me a comment on my blog or on Facebook, consider this a big pat on the back. :D

Alex the urban farmer...

Today a partially deaf lady told me that I have almost no accent. I wasn't quite sure how to take that, but I figure life is always sweeter when you take everything with a grain of salt. Wait... that doesn't make sense at all.
Anyways. Veronika and I bought a garden in Braunschweig. If there is one thing that is certain about Germans, it's that they love paperwork. We met last night to sign the contract - forty-five minutes later I walked out with pen-blisters on my fingers and a backpack full of forms. It was worth it though. We are now the owners of 385 sq. meters of garden just ten minutes walk from our apartments. The garden also comes with a small house on it, with power and water hooked up. Additionally, all of the tools that the previous owner used were also included - including his TV and satellite dish (which we're planning on selling). Perhaps best of all, there are four mature fruit trees on the property - three apples and a sour cherry. Since we're still operating under the assumption of a relatively short (ie. a few years) time here in Braunschweig, mature fruit trees are awesome.
The previous owner's name is Herr Geffers and he's a character. He's probably around 80 years old and has made it his personal mission to show me how each and every tool works. He's one of those guys that tells so many stories, you're not quite sure what is actually true. The fact that he has alzheimer's probably doesn't help either.
I've met a lot of foreigners in Braunschweig already, even though it's not known as an international city. Fortunately it's easy to tell who's from Braunschweig and who isn't: If they're scowling, they're from Braunschweig... if not, then you have an Auslaender. Today, I was briefly very excited that I was able to understand someone speaking so easily - until I realized that they were speaking Spanish - not only Spanish, but Mexican Spanish (Qué onda we, y hola a todos mis amigos del Tec!!).
The garden brings with it lots of work. We have to remove five trees that are either too big or are diseased. Fortunately, swinging an axe actually does a lot to remove the daily tensions I experience here in Germany. Once I get tired, then fortunately Herr Geffers also has a chainsaw - and believe me, I know very well how to put oil in it. In addition, we're taking out most of the lawn and turning over the soil to put in vegetables next year. If my facebook status wasn't currently a link to my blog, it would read: "Alex has a love-hate relationship with shovels."

Life changes quickly...

Life changes quickly, but lately it has been changing even quicker than normal. I now live in Braunschweig, Germany. Veronika has also moved here with me and is continuing to study for her diploma exams. It’s a lot easier for her to study here since she has access to the library, the university, and also her friends are also studying. We would prefer not to live in a city, but for now it seems to be working out just fine.

I’ve already found a job. I’m still waiting on my work visa to go through so that I can officially start, but the delay is actually somewhat of a good thing as it allows me to learn the German terms that are necessary for my project. The job was actually remarkably easy to come by. We were sitting in the cafeteria, eating with a few of Veronika’s friends when I mentioned that I was on the job hunt. One of her friends mentioned that his workplace seems to be always looking for new people, so after lunch we walked on over to see the place. That turned into an hour and a half interview with the boss, in a T-shirt and jeans, with no resume or transcripts, in German. Yikes. Somehow we pulled off a miracle, and after sending in my documents later that day, I had a job offer within the next few days. I now work (given the work visa goes through) for TLK-Thermo as a Thermodynamics System Engineer. They are a thermodynamics consulting firm connected with the Institute for Thermodynamics at TU-Braunschweig. It’s pretty ideal actually. There are about 10-20 people working at the firm, and they are all nice, which in Germany is a bit of a miracle in itself.